by Shaun Brookhouse (Author), Fiona Karen Biddle (Author)
Unconditional positive regard
Tenets of coaching
The use of questions
Gestalt use of language
Change to making direct statements rather than indirect ones
Past/present as figure/ground (be in the now)
Acknowledging vs Collusion
Acknowledging leads on from unconditional positive regard
Communicating your acceptance and valuing without judgement of the person
Keys to an achievable outcome
Stated in the positive
Specify present situation
Specify evidence procedure
Is it congruently desirable
Is it self-initiated and self-maintained
Is it appropriately contextualized?
What resources are needed?
Is it ecological
Locus of Control is the term used to describe a tendeny to presume control to be internal to the self or external.
Stages of change (Prohaska and Di Clemente theory):
The coach's job is to be the client's number one fan
Championing is a way to demonstrate this and to support the client in their endeavors
"Come on your Spurs" (parallel comparison example)
Wheel of life
(Richard Bandler and John Grinder) A means of mechanistically "copying" what is important about individuals and installing their belief, values and behaviours in themselves.
Matching and mirroring the physiology - The key to modelling physiology is the breathing, and then posture.
Filter patterns and strategies of the person one wants to model - Filter patterns include things like values and beliefs, we discover the emotional energy of the person being modelled.
Final element is to elicit the strategy of how this person does what they do eg find a model for one's business and another model for one's therapy.
Select - Exclude - Perform
Make lists of everything that you have to do, categorised into areas of your life
Plan each day thoroughly
Mix your tasks to avoid boredom and promote energy
Allow a good mix of work and breaks
Build in flexibility to allow for the unexpected
Always be on time
Focs on one task at a time: only multitask when this doesnt reduce your effectiveness
Delegate where possible
Anticipate and adapt to Change
Give priority to important tasks. It can help to categorise the jobs on your list as high or low priority and whether they are big or small jobs. There may be a little gap in your schedule which could be filled with a small, high priority job leaving big blocks of time for bigger jobs.
Set clear, achievable goals
Look after yourself
Be honest with yourself
Touch each piece of paper only once
Take time to exercise
Finish one thing before moving on to another
Learn to switch off
Access emails once or tiwce a day and deal with each one as you read it (where possible)
Learn to deal with interruptions, whether this is the phone (especially mobiles), visits or instant messaging.
Death bed scenario
This technique involvees looking forward to your own death bed scene, and from there looking back. (NB: don't use this with people who are or could percieve themselves to be close to death, or who are depressed, or have little hope)
The aim is for them to see a fulfilled life, to feel happy with all they have done and achieved. This question gives them a chance to see what will make them complete.
"Just imagine that after you have gone to bed tonight, a miracle just happens and your problem is resolved. You are asleep while your miracle occurs. When you wake up tomorrow morning, what will tell you that the miracle has happened? What will be different? How? What will you be doing differently? What will others be doing differently?"
This gives the client clue as to the steps they need to take
I-CAN-DO (model taken from "The Life Coaching Handbook" by Curly Martin)
I: What is your reason for wanting to run a marathon?
C: How far can you run comfortably now?
A: What is your aim, completion or is the time important?
N: How many ways can you think to get more training ing?
D: When do you want to do this?
O: How will t feel when you achieve this?
Letting go (Sedona model)
Relax and allow yourself to feel whatever it is your feel. Really allow it, welcome it if possible, but really let the feeling be there
Ask youreslf the following questions:
Could you let it go?
Panning for Gold
Transactional Analysis (TA)
Scripts, Injunctions and Patterns
Injunctions are the opposite of scripts
Patterns are scripty phrases that many people live by
The drama traingle
The Ego-state Model - states that any time each person is either in Parent, Adult of Child mode
Parent is acting as one's parents did and can be termed "controlling" or "nuturing"
Adult is using current information and resources to choose appropriate behviour
Child is behaving as one did as a child and can be termed "adapted" or "free"
Existential Givens - struggling with any or all produces what is known as existential angst:
Death is inevitable
Everyone is ultimately alone
We are free to make of our lives as we will
There is no obvious meaning or sense to life
Looking at obstacles
Success = goal + movement + resources - obstacles
Obstacles can be: